Uncle G’s Fun Movie Reviews: Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)

First Published: 20 May 2016 – Classic Rock Radio (UK)
Uncle G’s FUN Movie Reviews
Spotlight: Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)
By: Gary “Uncle G” Brown (GaryBrown@garyunclegbrownarchives.com)

Back in 2008, vampires movies were forever changed by the downright horrible, yet popular teen Twilight films. These motion pictures made so much money, that whatever story one could insert a vampire in, was done, so to also cash in on the fad. Besides films, television programs, and books also polluted the landscape. The worst thing was most times, they made these bloodsucking walking and talking corpses, the most un-coolest characters one could imagine. They had emotions and feelings. Storylines were filled with angst. People like myself who grew up with old-school Bela Lugosi, or Christopher Lee’s evil Prince Of Darkness, were instantly repelled by this girlie new version of one of cinema’s most popular monsters. Personally, I quit watching anything with a vampire storyline in it. In my opinion, all this new vampire stuff sucked, and not anywhere near, in a good way (wink wink).

Seven years from when that first Kristen Stewart snooze-fest hit the silver screen, here comes an indie film centering around vampires called; Bloodsucking Bastards. Found it on Netflix. Great title! Caught my attention. Then I saw it starred actor Fran Kranz (The Cabin In The Woods), who had a terrific role in Joss Whedon’s TV show; Dollhouse (2009 – 2010). An episodic television hour-long sci-fi/drama that in my opinion, was prematurely yanked off the air. So Fran’s involvement made me even more interested.

A little more research showed Bloodsucking Bastards to be an unrated American comedy/horror indie offering, clocking in at just under ninety minutes. Good enough for me. My boycott of vampire movies was over. I added it to my Netflix queue, placing it third behind the newest Quentin Tarantino offering, The Hateful Eight, and a movie that I had several friends recommend to me called, The Big Short. Years ago I was a loan officer for a division of Countrywide Home Loans (Full Spectrum Lending) that specialized in subprime lending. Stressful, yet I was compensated well, which motivated me to continually deal with the day-to-day hassles. Back to Netflix, neither movie title was in my snail mailbox the next time it came to receiving an envelope from the rental giant, but ‘Bloodsucking Bastards’ (Blu-ray_Scream Factory) was.

Like ‘The Big Short’, ‘Bloodsucking Bastards’ takes place in the white-collar office world. A present-day blood-soaked tale directed by Brian James O’Connell, with major involvement by Dr. God, of which the director is a part. A Los Angeles based comedy group that before viewing ‘Bloodsucking Bastards’, I didn’t know existed. Better late than never to jump on the fan bandwagon. According to Internet research, Dr. God consists of five people; BOC (Brian James O’Connell), Sean Cowhig, Neil Garguilo, David Park, and Justin Ware. Now on my radar, it should be interesting, to say the least, keeping up with them.

Viewing ‘Bloodsucking Bastards’ twice (the second time in commentary mode), and without giving away the whole thing, here are a few things that I really liked best:

01.) The Acting: From the main cast to the supporting players, all did a really bang-up job. The ones I liked their performance the most were; Fran Kranz (Evan), Joey Kern (Tim), Emma Fitzpatrick (Amanda), and Marshall Givens (Frank aka Mr. Red Bull … a one-of-a-kind performance/character). Basically, these are the main stars of this feature. A combined effort by all involved, including those behind the scenes, is what made this work as well as it did.

02.) Story: One that adults like myself could chill out to, and enjoy. I’m a 54 year old man. The teen shit I can appreciate at times, but it’s not what I’m looking for in a night’s entertainment. Unrated, one can call this adult fare. No nudity, but there is some cursing, which is fine. Matter of fact, the funniest moments involve blue language.

03.) Mean Vampires: They kill with glee. The way it should be. And it’s just awesome watching them perish when their time comes.

04.) Filming: Indie films as a rule, usually have some kind of financial restraints. It has a solid story. All through production it’s a struggle of having to do more, with less. A challenge I always find interesting and explains why at least in part, why I seem to prefer independent movies more often than BIG Hollywood.

‘Bloodsucking Bastards‘ has just as good a look/sound to it, as the major popcorn flicks one will find at the local cinema. And I’m sure it didn’t cost half a billion dollars to create. Seriously, when you have that much funds available and can hire the best talent in front of, and behind the camera, how can you flop? Yet it happens all the time.

I guess it’s weird, in a way? Or maybe, not? But I typically expect less from indie movies, and as with ‘Bloodsucking Bastards’ got more. With BIG Hollywood presentations I expect more and typically get less. Adding to the assault on my wallet, an insult to one’s intelligence.

“Uncle G” Rates … Bloodsucking Bastards

Using the one to ten-star system that the IMDb website uses, whereas one star means it blows chunks and should be avoided at all costs, to ten stars which means … holy shit this film was rated 10 stars, Uncle G rates ‘Bloodsucking Bastards’ … 10 stars! Wow!

I pay a ten spot a month for snail mail Netflix. If I had gone out to a theater and seen ‘Bloodsucking Bastards’ on the big screen for ten bucks, I’d be happy. The money I put out to be entertained, means a lot to me. If I give a stripper a dollar I expect … only kidding. I’m nearing nine hundred words now. Just seeing if you, the reader, are still paying attention. All kidding aside, nearing age 55, besides money, I don’t like to waste time. No such thing happened while viewing ‘Bloodsucking Bastards’. And remember, I watched it twice, listening to the commentary by Dr. God the second time around.

Blu-ray Disc: Nice job by Scream Factory. It’s very well put together. Cool bonus features/easter eggs. I recommend not only renting ‘Bloodsucking Bastards’ from Netflix but also purchasing. Something extra special for those who still collect discs, and are not into streaming.

Official Website: http://www.bloodsuckingbastards.com/

Netflix Page: http://dvd.netflix.com/Movie/Bloodsucking-Bastards/80041338