31 Aug 2017
Uncle G’s FUN 420 Reviews
Words and Red Ashtray Photography by Gary “Uncle G” Brown
Seeing how this is an archival website, I’d like to introduce to my newer 420 readers, a series of essays I did for a non-profit pro-cannabis website out of New York City, some years ago. One that I’ve been involved with since the year 2011. The webmistress is the wonderful Arlene Williams aka Ganja Granny. I love her to death! The website: Green Ribbon World.
Please note … regarding this republishing. We’re going back in time. Six years ago. I was married for the second time. That union was dissolved one day shy of us being a couple 22 years. No resentment or hard feelings. I’d rather look forward more than backward.
Editing: Versions 2.0 … my aim is to clean up any remaining typos and grammar errors. The originally published essays could be found on the Green Ribbon World website. When finally done (this could take some time) archiving all the past essays published, I’ll start writing new ones. In a way, I already have done so: Uncle G’s FUN 420 Reviews.
Green Ribbon World
Uncle G’s Corner (#03)
When people generally think of cannabis users, more times than not, the vision of the stereotypical stoner comes to mind. The one we see all the times in the movies.
Tommy Chong, in my opinion, portrays the world’s best stoner. This dude has stoner playing, down to an art form. He’s a master craftsman. Pair him with Cheech, and it’s one of the most successful comedy duos in entertainment history.
If not familiar, they do sketch comedy. Most of this centered around reefer. So successful putting out records, and touring, they got into putting out movies. The beginning of the end. Not long after, they quit being a team. The political climate at the time with its “just say no” to drugs, including cannabis like it’s as bad as heroin, was going strong. Those who indulged too much, blamed everyone and everything, including pot, for her or his problems. Lots of folks stopped laughing. Lucky for us, and back to our story, Cheech & Chong got back together a few years ago. This writer saw them twice, one time each, from their past two tours. Only saying.
Back to Tommy. He plays scenes out perfectly. The mannerisms, and the way he carries himself, be it physical or vocally, it’s all one hundred percent believable. He’s put together a true characterization of your everyday, typical pot smoker. For the younger ones reading this, Mr. Chong is acting the way lots of cannabis users did back in the 1960’s and ’70’s. Makes sense, since he’s from that era. And yeah, you can still find potheads like that even today. Be it the younger, beginning marijuana consumer who’s using it for recreational purposes, or the middle aged one, who’s seeking some kind of medical relief for whatever their ailment(s) be.
There’s one problem with Tommy, and his many Oscar Winning Performances of The Man. Wait, no Oscar? Surely an oversight. The portrayal some say was that of a loser, who happened to smoke cannabis. Critics more than once indicated weed made him the way he was. Or was it lack of having any weed? Years ago right? Let’s sum it up. Someone whose life amounted to nothing.
Now out doing errands, you see someone who kind of resembles that person. Typical stoner dude. The person is thought as a failure, at first glance. Brain issues an automatic profile. Took two seconds…boom! Based on what? Impressions that fill up the head. Ideas we believe in. Why the outcome? We can only guess. Bad upbringing? Poor education? A series of crummy jobs? A crummy life in general? Not really a success at anything. Bored most times. Gliding through life. Totally irresponsible. Smokes pot at any given opportunity (this might not be a totally bad thing).
Not one thing thought about the person, based on fact. I could understand why blacks and such get pissed so often. The actions show no respect. It’s very lack of? More than once folks tried to automatically judge me by what they saw. Conclusion sometimes could not be any further from the truth. Judging a book by its cover, don’t necessarily mean you’ll be correct.
Ever end up playing in an episode of “Dude Where Did I Park My Car?” The subject is driving. So caught up in the moment, we park, get out of our vehicle, and an hour later, come out and don’t have a clue as to where the auto we were driving, is at. A characteristic of an everyday pot smoker; bad memory / short term memory loss. A sometimes side effect with cannabis used in many a stoner comedy. But at the same time, people who never used cannabis, as well, have memory problems. A quick fact that helps establish that all character traits of a Tommy Chong character type cannabis user, don’t only afflict marijuana consumers. So the next time the boss loses his / her car keys, don’t automatically think their home at night doing multiple bong hits.
Stoner’s are known for slow driving. But I’ve also seen Brillo head, gray hair, straight (meaning not buzzed) old ladies drive so slow, joggers were passing them up.
And let’s not forget the ever famous, munchies. It’s true that after consuming cannabis, that one tends to get hungry. Real hungry. Defending this, I’ll say that people can get fat, without consuming weed. The proof’s in the pudding. Got to watch this one. I have a rule. I know my belly is getting too big, if when naked, I’m standing and look down, and don’t see my junk. That should be a rule for all guys. If when nude and standing, a guy can’t see his man stuff, then items like mashed potatoes should be banned from his household, until he can.
Note: To the Ladies reading this. You’re welcome. Consider that last part, Uncle G’s Public Service Announcement of the day.
Reality is, that there are way way too numerous cannabis users, living stable, productive lives. Happy. Responsible. We just do it from a different perspective. That’s certainly not a definition of a loser. Yet, that’s the characterization many people believe because it’s so much in the forefront. Humorous? Yes! A reflection of a true cannabis user today? Not so much.
My typical day, I’m up at around 5:30 AM. It’s still dark outside. My work day starts at either 7:30 / 8:00 / 11:45….all in the morning. The one close to Noon is on Sunday. I have two jobs. Full time is the Monday through Friday gig. Can’t say I care for that much. A major benefit is the insurance coverage. I actually like my weekend job. Warehouse. Connected to a retail store. This job has a further drive. Combining the two days, I’ll put about seventy miles on the odometer.
All this, while not under the influence of cannabis.
I’ll typically stop at a grocery store on the drive home, and buy whatever supplies are needed for the time being. I’m in a BIG city. Wally World is a half mile away. Open just about all the time. A supermarket is across the street from that. Another major grocery store is another block away. Instead of a weekly shopping routine, I almost enjoy the daily trips to the food store. Great for people watching. True characters walk up and down those grocery aisles.
By the way, I’m still straight. Have not smoked anything yet. Besides, a place like Wally World would be too bizarre while high. I know. It’s happened. Only once. They specialize in selling stuff that you don’t have and would like to own. Every isle almost I found at least one thing that I was sure I could no longer live without. After bored with that, I played find the stuff not made in China game.
Come home. Check the mail. Put whatever I purchased away. And then comes chores. Before doing the mundane household tasks, I might smoke a small bowl of the herb, before getting into it. Then dishes. Laundry. I have pets. When all is done, I might chill out here in our home office. Computer. Music. Tonight it’s Mike Oldfield. With the Misses, later on, smoke another bowl. The days finished. Eyes are getting heavy after nine at night. I’m crashed by 11 PM.
That’s a typical day. I mentioned in this and past entries, that I smoked every day. I did so in this example. I have a feeling. I could be wrong. Many others, who smoke grass, have days just like the one I described. Instead of taking care of pets, maybe they have children. Or maybe they raise children and take care of pets. And when the times right, they get high. And when I say high, I mean more like kind of buzzed. Not stoned. Nor wasted. Like a small bowl. Shared with a loved one. Had on the TV. Watched some Adult Swim. Maybe a repeat of The Office. Laughed. Had the munchies. A good time was had by all. No drama. Just relaxed. Decompressing, at its finish. The simpler things in life are indeed sometimes the best. Like that fart, I let out a few minutes ago. Loud. Commanded attention, and respect. Made the cat run away. Was that good! In a farting contest, I’d racked major points with that one.
Responsible is what those of us, living in the shadows….wait….the politicians say that’s the Mexicans. Kind of, it’s us cannabis users also. Laws might be cooler in California, then say Texas. Not acting like a fool, and acting responsibly, is how we increase the odds of not going to the crowbar motel.
Hard to believe out of all the drug busts in 2009, that number being *1,663,582 in the United States, that *858,408 was for weed. We need to stop getting busted so much. If in a collective, Spock would find intelligent life when aiming his scanner at us. Yet, look at all those arrests. Wonder how much money was wasted on prosecuting those associated with cannabis? Is it worth all the trouble? Legalize. Decriminalize.
Mr. President, Nothing worse will happen to society at large, then what’s already been accredited to alcohol. Need I say more?
In closing, please don’t let them sin tax us to death. Would kill me seeing fake cannabis plants throw into the Boston Harbor (you don’t think anyone would totally waste a good plant…do you?)
Onward Through The Fog
Gary “Uncle G” Brown
PS: OH…God bless Cheech & Chong. Sometimes people misinterpret jokes. It happens.
Green Ribbon World – http://greenribbonworld.com/2011/04/04/uncle-gs-corner-2/
“Crime in the United States 2009,” FBI Uniform Crime Report (Washington, DC: US Dept. of Justice, September 2010), Table 29,
and Arrest Table: Arrests for Drug Abuse Violations,