Uncle G’s FUN Movie Reviews: Hansel & Gretel Get Baked (2013)

First Published: 04 March 2016 – Classic Rock Radio (UK)
Uncle G’s FUN Movie Reviews
Spotlight: Hansel & Gretel Get Baked (2013)
By: Gary “Uncle G” Brown
X (formerly Twitter) @GBrown0816

So my winter’s project of catching up on movies that I heard about, but missed seeing for whatever reason, is still going strong. My recent subscription to Netflix where they are snail mailing me discs, is working out, just fine. I am receiving a steady flow of comedy, sci-fi, and horror flicks. I find it interesting to go through Netflix’s vast entertainment catalog. Doing movie reviews for Classic Rock Radio (UK) every blue moon, I’m always looking for something cool that might be FUN writing about.

One movie title that caught my eye while looking online at what Netflix had to offer, came out three years ago. Entitled; “Hansel & Gretel Get Baked.” While researching I found out it also had a second name which it was going by called; “Black Forest: Hansel and Gretel and the 420 Witch.” Both titles should I have seen either one, would have gotten my attention. The word ‘baked’ in one, and in the other title, those famous numbers; 420. Eureka! A pot movie!

Cannabis films come in all different sizes and shapes. The documentaries I find mostly entertaining, and informative.

Pot comedies are of course, different. Designed to entertain, and not so much educate. My experience watching them is that at least three-quarters of the so-called funny weed movies are borderline unwatchable and more stupid than humorous. Still, logic would dictate that there have been some very good ones made. Right? Can’t all suck a spent bowl having dirty bong water. 

The legendary comedy duo Cheech & Chong have their names on some totally cool films. The first one they did, Up In Smoke, remains a personal favorite of mine. ‘Smiley Face’ with Anna Faris ranks high with me. As do the comedy/horror Evil Bong flicks from independent film producer/director Charles Band that he’s been put out. Total FUN to watch! Well, isn’t that the point?

So 2013’s Hansel & Gretel Get Baked (the title I like best) ends up being a horror/comedy, whereas the comedy is funny, and the horror, damn right scary. Its story traces back to the original German Hansel and Gretel story of the 1800’s. Saying that, this film gives that story, a twenty-first-century twist. Our main characters Hansel & Gretel instead live the life of privileged teens in modern-day Los Angeles California. And the WITCH, for she’s a mean one. Lives in neighboring Pasadena. In this version, she’s a cannibal, who gains strength and a youthful appearance, by the devouring of her victim’s bodies, and soul.

‘Hansel & Gretel Get Baked‘ is produced by Mark Morgan, known for the popular Twilight movies starring Kristen Stewart.

‘Hansel & Gretel Get Baked‘ was directed by Duane Journey, and stars Michael Welch as Hansel, and actress Molly Quinn as Gretel. From television is Twin Peaks, Lara Flynn Boyle who plays the evil witch Agnes, and superbly so. Also, in the cast, and giving a stand-out performance, Bianca Saad.

Story (in a nutshell)

A witch grows a super weed called Black Forest to attract, and kill those needed to keep herself alive, and young-looking. She can turn people into zombies, has a dry sense of humor, and is either bisexual or a lesbian. What a sexy monster, she is. This movie just keeps getting better and better. And without giving away TOO MUCH … it’s Uncle G rating time.

“Uncle G” rates Hansel & Gretel Get Baked

Using the same one to ten star rating system from on the IMDb website, whereas one star means it’s horrible and you can safely skip, to ten stars which means every stoner on the planet should enjoy it, I give 2013’s comedy/horror popcorn flick, Hansel & Gretel Get Baked … 09 stars! Is well done from start to finish. For almost ninety minutes I was thoroughly entertained. One of the better pot movies I’ve seen, fer sure. Still, I had a bit of a problem with the ending. Might have been cooler should it have been more plausible. Not that I don’t wish a sequel happens, one day. 

SPOILER ALERT!

How the hell did she survive that damn oven? That’s what I want to know.

Official Trailer for Hansel & Gretel Get Baked

End of Column

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