Uncle G’s FUN 420 Reviews: Uncle G’s Corner (#04) – Gateway Drug? Part 1

27 Sept 2017
Uncle G’s FUN 420 Reviews
Words and Photography by Gary “Uncle G” Brown
Twitter @GBrown0816

Seeing how this is an archival website, I’d like to introduce to my newer 420 readers, a series of essays I did for a non-profit pro-cannabis website out of New York City, some years ago. One that I’ve been involved with since the year 2011. The webmistress is the wonderful Arlene Williams aka Ganja Granny. I love her to death! The website: Green Ribbon World.

Please note … we’re going back in time. Six years ago. I was married. That one came crashing down in which I was awarded a divorce, one day shy of us being a couple 22 years. No resentment or hard feelings. I wish her well. This is growth. Can’t say I felt that way about wife #02 only months ago. Life goes on. Other aspects in which other parts changed as well. Time stands for no one.

Editing: Versions 2.0 … my aim is to clean up any remaining typos and grammar errors. The originally published essays could be found on the Green Ribbon World website. When finally done (this could take some time) archiving all the past essays published, I’ll start writing new ones. In a way, I already have done so: Uncle G’s FUN 420 Reviews.

 

Green Ribbon World (website)

Uncle G’s Corner
Number: 4
April 2011

The 420 Special
Topic: Gateway Drug?
Part One

How many times has this happened? A news story about how cannabis is being considered for legalization. On the TV screen, a reporter, and a stuffy looking, middle-aged person. The reporter asks; “Do you ever see marijuana, legal in this State?” And what else is there to know about the one being asked this? A political representative, currently pretending to do the people’s business. Here’s the response. “Marijuana is a gateway drug!” The voice is loud and stated very matter of fact. Serious look on their face. Appears well rehearsed. Keep in mind, the weapon used here is words. And these words in particular, weird how closely related they are to that other famous political bullshit line; do it for the children.

An example, you say. Here’s one. Let’s raise the price of cigarettes to twenty dollars a pack. Now the kids can’t afford to smoke. I’d say just about most folks would understand this. And in doing so, making the price higher for the adult users, it’s unfortunately, one of those things. For some, there now newest financial crisis, equivalent to collateral damage. They just have to deal with it. As long as the kids are safe. Just keep repeating; it’s for the children. Wanting a better mankind for all. How could a person, not be for that?

Months later you hear the politicians are depending on the extra revenue, generated from that move, to make the yearly budget. They are even disappointed when the money taken in, shows decline from their projected estimates. None of that was said in the past. What was said, was that raising prices would help children. That was the only reason given, wasn’t it? That’s what I remember anyway. And something else happened. A lot of people in their fine State quit smoking cigarettes. Taxes so high it made the product non-affordable anymore. The price is now way too high. Meanwhile back at the ranch, the ones calling themselves our elected elite, lead me to believe that they care more about themselves, their supporters, and their inner world, then they do ‘the kids’. Why not just tell us the truth to start with? I will. The true intention of the “gateway” remark, remember that……is and has always been, to see to it, that cannabis stays illegal.

Our politician has supporters that strongly oppose legalization/decriminalization of cannabis. Thinking about this, the first reason I came up with was, and all too obvious to me was the fear of losing money. Hear me out now (even if you’re reading this). Mostly everyone can identify. General population believes that only the wealthy could afford to lose money. We all got bills. Everyone’s got to eat.

Americans spend on the average, billions of dollars a year, for nothing more than to escape reality. You know, something to help cope with life’s little challenges. How far one goes up the ladder, is up to the individual. So step right up. Booze and pills to the rescue. Soon word gets around that this one brand of muscle relaxer is so much better if one swallows down the pill with a glass of chilled, red wine.

And what do we do when under their influence? One thing really popular is watching reality television. Great zone out material. The reason most love it so I imagine would be to watch what other people’s real life is. Jokes on us. Hollywood made even reality TV, fake. Get this, Jessica Simpson isn’t really all that dumb. Because of a clothing line/empire she has, the lady is damn near a billionaire nowadays. Good for her! Wonder if she has a hemp line? Tee-shirts and whatnot? Support what you believe in. That’s what I say.

So some people figure if pot was made legal, that some of the folks, would buy less alcohol, and need fewer pharmaceuticals. So the answer to making it legal is; no. Portray the weed as evil instead. And say it with conviction. Like it’s the final word. Attitude must be that any action taken to legalize, goes no further. Too bad our friend, the political puppet from paragraph one, don’t see what lies ahead.

Cannabis users are tired of hearing the word; no. The fight for legalization/decriminalization is ongoing. Lately, battles have both been won and lost. Each victory makes the next one a tad easier. Each State has its own version. One day I predict, that the conflicts will go away. Weed will be legal in all States. Cannabis will blend into everyone’s daily life. The only questions will be why, and when to use it. Not having an answer could be just as good an answer, as any other one. Restrictions on weed? There should have never been any rules, or boundaries placed on cannabis. Be it used for recreational, medical, or religious purposes.

I remember some of the 70’s. While sitting on the bowl, I would read publications like National Lampoon, Hustler, or High Times. I thought NORML was a cool organization.

Sometimes when smoking grass, I’d do bongs with the older folks. Defined here as late teens, to people in or around their 30’s. This would have happened from my mid-teens to becoming legal (1979) years.

During the intake of the cannabis, stories would be passed around. A conversation would ensue. Sometimes, about what we were presently inhaling. This time around, it’s the studies of monkeys in a lab somewhere. Official Marijuana Studies. By the United States Government.

The furry primates were forced to wear gas masks, that contained 24/7, piped in reefer smoke. Someone would say they saw pictures. “The monkeys were totally wasted man.” Breathing in Government grown pot. Higher THC levels, may I remind you. Way better than the regular weed we were purchasing. And after being bombarded with all this smoke, they then said how the monkeys were presently, in a coma-like state. Credited to the marijuana, of course. The conclusion which was formed for you was that if you smoked pot, then you’d become brain-damaged. After all, that’s what happened to the monkeys. Goes without even saying that this too could also happen to human beings. I didn’t really believe this garbage. How stupid is this? Of course, we’d expect those results with the monkeys. What human constantly smokes high THC cannabis all day, and all night? From a gas mask? For a long ass period of time? Believe me, people have tried. I figure without the masks. Sooner or later they’d pass out. Hopefully not head first in a bowl of cereal. Horrible headline;

Marijuana User Drowns Face First In a BIG bowl of (insert the name of your favorite cereal munchies when under pot’s influence; Stoned Mini-Wheats?)

To be continued…

Uncle G’s Corner – Gateway Drug? (Part 2)

https://garyunclegbrownarchives.com/2017/10/01/uncle-gs-fun-420-reviews-uncle-gs-corner-04-gateway-drug-part-2/

Gateway Drug? (Part 1) Originally Published

http://greenribbonworld.com/2011/05/10/uncle-gsviw-on-the-gateway-drug-syndrome/

Uncle G’s FUN 420 Reviews: Edible Report (First Edition)

verts-dutch-girls-caramel-waffles-02-2017-02-22

05 March 2017

Uncle G’s FUN 420 Reviews (#01)

Topic: Edible Report – Dutch Girl Caramel Waffles (Stroopwafel)

Recommended Age for Consumption: 21 +

Words & Photography by Gary “Uncle G” Brown

Twitter @GBrown0816

Note: Consumption of certain things will vary, according to the individual. This is true at ALL TIMES. Presently I am six foot, and weigh in at about 198 pounds. I am also for the most part excluding injuries, fairly healthy for my age. Results I get will be certainly different taking the same dose of whatever it may be, compared to how a young lady who was 5 foot 4 inches, and last time on the scale weighed 126 pounds. Needs sayin’. Any questions, please ask. Remember I am not a doctor. Given the opportunity, I would play one on TV, or in a low budget indie B film. Preferably a comedy, sci-fi, or horror picture.  Something to focus on another day.

What’s not to love about edibles? Plenty if you buy the wrong one. You could end up with not exactly getting what you were hoping for. Too weak? Too strong? Taste like dirt? Didn’t get off? Better to chalk it up to a learnable experience, than be totally pissed off. And so it perhaps won’t happen again, let me your helpful mature/experienced 420 reviewer, try to point you in the right direction. Will be entertaining at times. If in the process passing on my experience helps … cool. So keep an eye out for NEW ‘Uncle G’s FUN 420 Reviews’. Over time I’ll share about whatever cannabis item ends up in my path; smoke, edibles, etc.. Feel free to leave comments/give feedback.

Uncle G’s FUN 420 Reviews (First Edition)

Topic: Edible Report – Dutch Girl Caramel Waffles (Stroopwafel)

The place, Fort Collins, Colorado (USA). A place I’ve been calling home since last year. This is where you will find a marijuana dispensary named; Verts Neighborhood Dispensary. Cool place! I love the smells/vibes as soon as I walk in the door. Knowledgeable employees that are fun to talk to. Excellent products, including edibles.

For those who don’t know me, I have been smoking pot on and off since the Nixon Administration. Primarily I am an old fashion smoker. I am now a licensed medical user (chronic pain) via the great state of Colorado. Being legal here, I can let my curiosity take over some, and try whatever new hits the market that is marijuana related, and something I have an interest with.

So this marks my third time digging into this type of smokeless high since arriving in Fort Collins. I really enjoyed my first time. The second experience sucked through a long straw, and this newest one, Dutch Girl Caramel Waffles (Stroopwafel), I tend to think is … keep reading.

Product: Dutch Girl Caramel Waffles (Stroopwafel) 250 mg THC (10 each/25 mg pieces). Produced by the good people at the CannaPunch Company in Denver, Colorado. In business since 2009 according to their website.

Uncle G’s Thoughts

Took me a little over a week, and three different occasions to polish off the 10 yummy caramel waffles that came inside a circular plastic container. While on the subject, please collect and recycle these. Verts Neighborhood Dispensary who I already mentioned, take your used plastic med/rec containers, bottles, tubes, etc. I just dropped off a few months worths myself. Helps Mother Earth. I digress. After all, it was for the long-term good of the planet we call home. Now back to ‘stroopwafel’ land.

verts-dutch-girls-caramel-waffles-2017-feb-22

The first time I ate three within a 45 minute time period. Would not recommend this dosage for the average consumer. Two at the most. And then wait a couple hours. Could take up to 8 hours to come down. Depends on the individual. If a ‘light-weight’, eat a half, or just one waffle, wait at least three-quarters of an hour, and see what happens.

Note: Hard for myself not to toke a bit while under the influence. I wanted to focus on the product. That was the writing assignment I was given.

Caution

Mixing with anything takes away from what the ‘waffle’ itself has to offer. Saying all that, after I consumed the three cookies, I cozied up in bed and for the rest of the night, channel surfed the TV. A very mellow experience. Be aware that when looking back since awakening that day, that I would conclude, that it was a very long day which started with waking up around 4:30 am. I got the opportunity to watch the sun come up. So by the time I ate the three ‘Dutch Girl Caramel Waffles’, it was after 7 pm, and if not doing them, I would have naturally gotten tired.

The day after I awoke from after a very nice evening sleep, and decided to continue ‘reviewing’ this tasty marijuana delivery system, to which I could re-visit; MellowVille. So still not smoking, I arose to the sunshine and to eat another delicious waffle with my morning coffee. Within a six-hour period, I sucked down a total of four. Including the night before, I now swallowed seven of these things. All throughout this pleasant experience, I stayed chilled and was never out-and-out comatose.

verts-dutch-girl-caramel-waffles-04-2017-02-22

The last three waffles I ‘tested’ was yesterday.  I let a few days pass before doing the Colorado state item again. Gave me the opportunity time to collect my thoughts on how I felt using this particular medicated bakery goodie. This last time it was during the day. I even managed to venture out a little bit while under the influence. No driving! On foot. By doing so it showed how I wasn’t that stoned, and still able to do everyday functions. A high that isn’t too stimulating, nor relaxing (when one has had a good nights sleep).

But the real fun I had while ‘reviewing’ this pleasant edible was just hanging out at home, chilling out watching tv and listening to music. One music CD I was so kindly given (last year) in hopes I’d write about it; Burnt Belief – Emergent (2016). Spacey prog-rock instrumental. It includes from the prog-rock band Porcupine Tree, intense bass player; Colin Edwin. Excellent music for this! Play and let your mind take in the crazy cool sounds. Alone or with some company, adding one or two of these ‘special’ caramel waffles to your day, sure won’t hurt any. Matter of fact I’m sure it will brighten up what is going on around you.

Where To Buy: Uncle G recommends Verts Neighborhood Dispensary. Link to their website can be found below. Besides there, please consult the manufacturer’s website; CannaPunch Company. Link is … right here (first one under ‘helpful links’)

Helpful Links

CannaPunch Company

www.cannapunch.com

Verts Neighborhood Dispensary (Forts Collins CO)

www.vertsdispensary.com/

Burnt Belief (band)

https://www.facebook.com/BurntBelief/

Green For Green (recycle movement)

Twitter @GreenForGreen_

Green Ribbon World (Pro-Cannabis Non-Profit Website)

Uncle G’s Corner (written a few years back)

http://greenribbonworld.com/category/uncle-gs-corner/uncle-gs-corner-uncle-gs-corner/

 

Movie Review: Hansel & Gretel Get Baked

04 March 2016
Uncle G’s FUN Movie Reviews
Spotlight:Hansel & Gretel Get Baked (2013)
By: Gary “Uncle G” Brown
Twitter @GBrown0816

So my winter’s project of catching up on movies that I heard about, but missed seeing for whatever reason, is still going strong. My recent subscription to Netflix where they are snail mailing me discs, is working out fine. Am receiving a steady flow of comedy, sci-fi, and horror flicks. I find it interesting going through Netflix’s vast catalog of entertainment. Doing movie reviews for ClassicRockRadio.co.uk every blue moon, I’m always on the look out for something cool that might be FUN writing about.

One movie title that caught my eye while looking online at what Netflix had to offer, came out three years ago. Entitled;”Hansel & Gretel Get Baked.” While researching I found out it was also had a second name in which it was going by called; “Black Forest: Hansel and Gretel and the 420 Witch.” Both titles should I have seen either one, would have gotten my attention. The word ‘baked’ in one, and in the other title, those famous numbers; 420. Eureka! A pot movie!

Cannabis films come in all different sizes and shapes. The documentaries I find mostly entertaining, and informative.

Pot comedies are of course, different. Designed to entertain, and not so much educate. My experience watching them is that at least three quarters of the so called funny weed movies, are borderline unwatchable, and more stupid than humorous. Still there has been some very good ones made. The legendary comedy duo Cheech & Chong have their names on some totally cool ones. The first one they did, Up In Smoke, remaining a personal favorite of mine. ‘Smiley Face’ with Anna Faris ranks high with me. As do the comedy / horror Evil Bong flicks from independent film producer / director Charles Band that he’s been put out. Total FUN to watch! Well, isn’t that the point?

So 2013’s Hansel & Gretel Get Baked (the title I like best) ends up being a horror / comedy, whereas the comedy is funny, and the horror, damn right scary. It’s story traces back to the original German Hansel and Gretel story of the 1800’s. Saying that, it’s given a twenty first century twist. Our main characters Hansel & Gretel instead living the life of privileged teens in modern day Los Angeles California. And the WITCH, for she’s a mean one. Lives in neighboring Pasadena. In this version she’s a cannibal, who gains strength and a youthful appearance, by the devouring of her victims bodies, and soul.

‘Hansel & Gretel Get Baked’ is produced by Mark Morgan, known for those popular Twilight movies starring Kristen Stewart.

‘Hansel & Gretel Get Baked’ was directed by Duane Journey, and stars Michael Welch as Hansel, and actress Molly Quinn as Gretel. From televisions Twin Peaks, Lara Flynn Boyle plays the evil witch Agnes, and superbly so. Also, in the cast, and giving a stand out performance, Bianca Saad.

Story: A witch grows super weed called Black Forest to attract, and kill those needed to keep herself alive, and young looking. She can turn people into zombies, has a dry sense of humor, and is either bisexual or a lesbian. This movie just keeps getting better and better. And without giving away TOO MUCH … it’s Uncle G rating time.

Uncle G rates Hansel & Gretel Get Baked

Using the same one to ten star rating system from on the IMDb website, whereas one star means it’s horrible and you can safely skip, to ten stars which means every stoner on the planet should enjoy it, I give 2013’s comedy / horror popcorn flick, Hansel & Gretel Get Baked … 09 stars! Is well done from start to finish. For almost ninety minutes I was thoroughly entertained. One of the better pot movies I seen, fer sure. Still, I had a bit of a problem with the ending. Might have been cooler should it had been more plausible. Not that I don’t wish a sequel happens.

SPOILER ALERT!

How the hell did she survive that damn oven? That’s what I want to know.

Netflix Page for Hansel & Gretel Get Baked

http://dvd.netflix.com/Movie/Hansel-_-Gretel-Get-Baked/70271379

Official Trailer for Hansel & Gretel Get Baked