Recommended Reading Age: 21 +
Uncle G’s FUN 420 Reviews: Edible Report (#09)
Company: Sweet Mary Jane
Type of Edible Item: Fancy Chocolate
Name: Key Lime Kickers (Medicinal)
Contents: 200 mg active THC_4 Truffles
Special Instructions for Storage: Yes
Story and Incidental Photography by Gary “Uncle G” Brown
Last year at this time I was staying in Pennsylvania. Nine months visiting kin. Being new in those parts, I had a hard time scoring weed. What made it worse was I stayed in the country. Outside Wilkes-Barre, in the very small town, out in the woods, I rented a room. I thought at the time it would be a positive place for me to recoup after finding myself single again. First time since 1993. All this drama took place at the end of November back in 2015. Came home from work one early Sunday evening and found who is now my ex-wife, in the company of another man. Six days later with the help of a few dear friends, I was leaving Katy Texas on my own and heading east on superhighway I-10.
The thing about it being tough to get pot was that besides a few people, nobody really knew me. Not a cannabis friendly place. The front page of the local paper had headlines about people getting busted for dirty pot paraphernalia. Marijuana and marijuana-related busts appeared to be all the rage. Meanwhile, people in my age bracket were dying from, heroin overdoses, almost as routinely. While there, medical marijuana was passed. Whoopie! Wasn’t immediate. Way too many hoops to qualify. The end result would be doctors and the law up your ass so deep, they could tickle your tonsils. And that’s with no lube. Almost like they were on purpose trying to discourage those from starting the process, to begin with. I sooner or later told myself:
“Self, fuck this!”
Pulled into Dallas Pennsylvania, driving a U-Haul and left town nine months later a passenger on a Greyhound bus, heading to parts unknown.
For those who don’t know the “Uncle G” story, having made it safely to Colorado, and on my second day in Fort Collins, I made my first legal weed purchase. Blew me away! On the recreational side of a cannabis dispensary. After showing my out of state driving license, and flirting with the two pretty young lady budtenders behind the counter, I purchased a gram. Less than two months later, I was an officially licensed medical marijuana user. Nowhere near as burdensome meeting the qualifications as it would have been in the Keystone State. Money wise, after all is said and done, the total was just under a hundred and fifty dollars. Once you are licensed, you then qualify for medical marijuana price discounts. Could be 50 percent savings or more. If on a fixed budget, and say really legally disabled … and the cannabis in whatever form is a successful substitute from meds’ with known harmful side effects … this shit ROCKS! Financially and mentally.
Just this last month when at Verts Neighborhood Dispensary (Fort Collins CO), I spotted a refrigerator with a glass door. Inside this electric environmentally controlled box, were medical marijuana edibles. Glancing through the very clean glass, I noticed a black pouch. A lot of items. This one for some unknown reason stood out among the rest. The cool looking black packaging read; “Sweet Mary Jane – Key Lime Kickers.” I said to myself, I said:
“Self … looks yummy! I need to know more information about that.”
The budtender waiting on me, a very knowledgeable young lady, name Cayman. Has the title of assistant manager if I am not mistaken, and by the time we and other budtenders who were nearby got done conversing, I was walking out the door with medical marijuana … truffles. Friends reading this now are going … what? For they know I’m more a regular chocolate, kind of guy. The kind I’ve usually purchased in the past, as a rule, comes in wrappers with bar codes, and cost less than a dollar. From that to TRUFFLES … that need REFRIGERATED … A BIG jump. My choice could possibly be accredited to the female persuasion. Cayman (remember her) knew while informing me about what I was interested in, the already outstanding reputation this particular product, and the company that manufactured it, had. Having sales experience, it really helps a salesperson sell, when they have confidence in a product. I meanwhile just may have wanted something different? I liked that each of the four truffles contained 50 mg of THC (tetrahydrocannabinol). Knowing my body, I realized that with the amount of THC in that ballpark, I can start managing my chronic pain better. Keep in mind that everyone reading this is different. Please be aware of your health, and what cannabis levels you can safely tolerate without the dose being too much for you.
So I dosed on four different occasions. All at night, safely at home. Sometimes while in the nude.
The child-proof pouch is hard to open. Pissed me off at first. By the fourth ‘Key Lime Kicker’ I kind of had the hang of opening and closing the bag. The pouch I kept in the freezer, inside an empty Ego box. No real need for that, but I just found it safer in there. The package states how the truffles (HEMP CONNOISSEUR 1st Place Winner 2013) must be refrigerated. Freezing it properly will prolong shelf life for up to a half of year. So no stuffing in a sock drawer.
FYI: truffles are hand made from scratch and available in several flavors.
All four times I put a whole ‘Key Lime Kicker’ in my mouth. Was of course cold. The first taste is the outside graham cracker crumb coating. Reminded me of many a trip to the nearest Denny’s Restaurant, in which I would order their key lime pie for dessert, along with a fresh cup of coffee. The truffle, amazingly so, just kept getting better tasting. I noted; layers of yumminess. By the last truffle, I’m equating the taste and sensation of letting it slowly melt in my mouth, to an orgasm. Wow! The little white coated part that reads THC, like an M&M, but with a tastier tasting chocolate. Should sell them separately. While still melting, there is a creamy layer that’s to die for! Very little cannabis taste overall. If so, just for a split second or two. The magic ingredient; cannabis infused sugar.
I thought that the effects hit quickly for an edible. All four times I experienced being nice and calm. Worked well combating my nerve pain. It especially fucks with me at night. Helped me forget it some. Frankly, this is what I am looking for. I want to be able to cope and get by as reasonably as I can. Using medical marijuana I can do that. The candy tasted really good. An above average tasting THC delivery system. The effects seemed to last the entire night. Made notes waking up the next morning that I slept well on ‘testing’ nights.
Uncle G Recommends
Not something I might do every day/every night. For myself, better for evening use. Most moments under its influence, I felt serene. A tasty treat such as this ‘Key Lime Kicker’ a few times a month, sounds very doable. Especially on those more difficult to get around days. Help me recover when it’s dark outside. And Verts Neighborhood Dispensary is always stocked. After this review hits, I expect them to get sold out much quicker. Call ahead. Send an email. Communicate U R INTERESTED in Sweet Mary Jane – Key Lime Kickers. Plus their other products. Should help turn a shitty day into a glorious one. That is what “Uncle G” says. If one (adult 21 +) must for whatever reasons meditate, and is interested in medical marijuana edibles, here’s a good place to start looking.
Oh … and let go of my round waffle.
Sweet Mary Jane
Verts Neighborhood Dispensary